WHAT THE--?!

~Sea of Twilight~

Mom comes home and one of her first words (which are always, really ALWAYS complaints): "Why didn't your younger sisters do anything?! Why can't you tell them anything?!"

Well, sorry, I tried, but I am not spending my entire day on yelling at them like you do for them to do something. If they don't do it after the nth time I tell them, it's their problem, I have my own life to take care of, too, even if it's mostly tumblr and Star Project and reading Amatsuki and being overly controlling of your kids and siblings will make them more spiteful and less independent, LOOK AT ME, MOM.

Her reply? "Ah yes, your way of raising kids is great, you have great results, right? That's why they always take you as example and don't do things."

Wait, since when did I become the secondary mother...?! AS IF YOUR WAYS OF RAISING KIDS HAVE BEEN ANY GOOD. And it's goddamnit not my fault they follow my example. I didn't choose to be their example, it's their fucking own choice when they do it, why is it always my fault?! Why do you make your and my life miserable by coming home and complaining and never seeing anything positively, never coming home with a smile or at least TRY to be a tad bit more positive?! I don't know how you survive day fro day, lade, you are pretty strong because I can't do that, I can't live like you and be depressive and sad and self-pitying and aggressive all the item, it is DESTROYING ME!

"You are crazy, so crazy and idiotic!"

Gee, right back at you! WHO IS AGGRAVATING ME, HUH?! Can't you just shut up? Can't you be less narrow-minded? Can you be less negative?! There are moments where I'd just want to kill myself just to spite you, just to show you what you are doing to your kids, just to shake you awake, MOTHER!


WEEEEELL, that's why this useless blog exists, I can vent off my frustrations by written words at no-one in particular (I can't and don't want to always bother my friends with m,y problems, ahaha....) and I still feel somewhat better afterwards. Sorry to those who stumble over this angry rant. Take cute Touya-kun (I star-named him Thario, so what?) here~

Ohh, Touya-puu, how I wish I could live in your world sometimes...now I am not even motivated to play or do anything productive GAAAAAH.

Plans for tonight

~Sea of Twilight~

• Continuing the self-made mood-theme for Arisu Yuki for my RP-tumblr because I chose her as RP-character to make random RPpostsn with Starry Sky flirtblogs xD
• Continuing Eden-chan's birthday fic (yes, I am way overdue...)
• Continuing Starry Sky RI-fic because the few translated Christmas Kiss-events of honeybee is just so goddamn cute and hot and aaaaaaah♥
• Practising hiragana, katakana and kanji. Ahahaha.....

Okay, off to reply to Miyaji's flirtblog (or was it his yandere flirtblog...?).

Merry Christmas xD

~Sea of Twilight~

Omnomnomnom, Christmas Eve meal, we had quails and two big lobsters~ Although there were many fights and many obstacles (like always), somehow it worked out...

And I started finally to ask/RP with the flirtblogs in tumblr. Ahh, so excited~

Oh. OHHH, AND STAR PROJECT♥ It is RABUUUUUU. And I actually want to spend some real money on that game, sadly, apparently you can't pay from Germany yet. Ahahaha.....the irony, I am willing to pay once and then they don't let me....

Look look look! Mite mite miteeee!!!

~Sea of Twilight~

 

ASDFGHJKL HIME-CHAAAAAAAAN. YOU GAVE ME A PRESENT  ALONG WITH THE RUBBER STRAPS AND I HAVE NOTHING FOR YOU TAT. Thank you so much you are such a nice friend aaaaaaaaaah!!!!

And I ahve yet another friend who just dropped by, gave me a little present and I had nothing DARN IT AAAAH.

スター☆プロジェクトとてもが好き！！！

~Sea of Twilight~

Or something. Yay, I have holidays from now on, for two weeks, I finally sent the package to Japan and today I have work shift with my friend~

And then I realizes Star Project was translated to English?! WHY DIDN'T I REALIZE IT?! I am so going to play it once I am at home, sadly, I am at the university now and won't come home until veeery late. *sobsob*
And tomorrow I have early shift, too. Sheesh. At least I get money this way to buy myself an iPod touch and a PSP. And someday a 3DS because of DREAM DROP DISTANCE AAAAAAAH.

...venting off my frustration now.

~Sea of Twilight~

…sometimes I really wonder why I bother with you. I don’t care when you are lazy. But please on’t be lazy when it’s about your best friend. When we try to arrange a meeting, when you have problems with that either you put some efforts into making it to the meeting, since it’s us friends that are doing this for you, or if you don’t feel like coming up with any efforts and rather have it easy and unproblematic, then fucking say you don’t come, simple as that. Your indecisiveness really gets on my nerves lately, we rarely see each other already, we still call each other best friends because really, we are, and I like you amd I hate how we spend so little time together lately because we are going different paths for a while after graduation, so if we want to meet again to go to the Christmas Market when YOU really wanted to do that, why is it so difficult to arrange soemthing with you?

Your car, sure, it’s difficult to store away a car in the city and it’s slightly complicated to make this work but it isn’t impossible, it isn’t too difficult, you could do it if you really wanted, friendship is about putting effort into your doings for your friends and sacrificing a few inconveniences, right? We are putting our efforts into this by spending our time that we don’t really have but really want to give to you to show you the big city we are studying in, the Christmas Market that is held there, so where is your effort?

…why is it always so difficult? No wonder my parents say I am acting too much like a loyal dog to some of my friends when they don’t do something of similiar sacrificing for me, I get angry…because I know sometimes they are right.

It is really sad. Maybe I am a bit too mean. But I am so frustrated. …because I am neither close to my family, nor can I really completely rely on friends. Hah, lonely, isn’t it. No, wait, it’s pathetic. Sheesh.

I know you won’t read this, you neither use tumblr, nor do you know I do. Someday I will tell you. Someday you will tell me what I do to annoy you and then we are hopefully even. But now, this is just for me to get it off my chest and focus on otehr things in my life. You amy be my best friend, but I am not willing to put up with you like this forever. I will enver stop calling you my best friend, I hope, but I will never stop being disappointed of you if this continues. copypasted from my tumblr

Ah, but my family frustrates me, too. I am really willing to leave my parents' apartment soon, if it wasn't inconvenient with my exchange semester in Japan I plan to do in two years. AHHHHHH.

Also, I am really tempted to buy Natsume Yuujinchou DVDs already. And Clearfolders, but they are so expensive, Starry Skyyyyyy....! And I still need Christmas Presents for both my host family and my actual family. Ahahaha....

...and another planned purchase.

~Sea of Twilight~

...ahaha, the hell, why is there no iPod Touch with 16 GB? 8GB is too little for me and 32GB is too much.... But i kinda see myself buying the 32GB version anyway, for I will load loads of manga on it and Drama CDs and my music and....I'll need this space. Or maybe I check how many Drama CDs I have and how much space they take up. BUT I NEED AN iPod TOUCH. I need more space for my MP3-Player, anyway, my old one is sometimes screwing with me lately and I wanna buy some apple-exclusive apps liek that Hakuoki app or that Shukan Soine app or the Starry Sky app................../D

Screw saving up. It's Christmas and in two months my birthday, anyway~

Someday I gotta clean up and organize my taglist, sheesh...

Planned purchase December 2011

~Sea of Twilight~

...because it's going to be Christmas and all and my student support money thingie finally was transferred (heh, what did you think I'd use the money for aside from food? xD) and my first paycheck is about to come....YES, I AM KINDA RICH FOR THIS MONTH~~~~

That is why I will purchase a lot. And that is why I am going to make a list. Yay~

• Dengeki Girl's Style January 2012
• Otomedia December 2011
• Dolce 2011

• Hakuoki PSP (English)
• Play Station Portable (yes, shortly before Vita release, because, I need a PSP first)

• Starry Sky Clearfolder

There are stuff like Natsume Yuujinchou and maybe UtaPri VOICE MASCOTS as well as Natsume Yuujinchou's Malaysian ripoff DVDs I wanna buy, and an original Japanese DVD I wanna buy via AmiAmi someday, but that I will probably push until January or February. I pray they are still available until then 8D ...you can tell I will spend a fortune on everything, right? Ahh....and I still have to save up for moving out, Japan trip, Japan semester and saving up in general. Hahahaha, good joke /shot.

PS: I LOVELOVELOVE my Japanese host family from Ogano. I LOVELOVELOVE them, they are so kind and supporting and AAAAAHHH, I'll prepare some Christmas package for them these weeks and send it to them and and and AAAAAAAH. they sent money to me via letter saying i shall sue it for school preparations and stuff and they didn't have to do this and I wanna hug them and ASDFGHJKL♥

...how I fail at reading name-kanji forever.

~Sea of Twilight~

Got curious about this one name.

朝長出

朝: CHOU; asa (morning/regime)

長: CHOU; naga(i) (long/leader)

出: SHUTSU/SUI; de(ru)/da(su) (exit)

HOW THE HELL DO YOU READ TOMONAGA IZURU FROM THIS?! Oh, wait, name reading.

Thanks to this...NAME READING section:

朝: あ| あそ| ささ| ちか| とも (a/aso/sasa/chika/tomo)

出: いず| いづ| いで| じ| すっ| すつ| てん (izu/izu/ide/ji/su-/sutsu/ten)

Alright, we found the TOMO in the name reading, the NAGA in the KUN-reading and the IZU in the name reading. ... somehow...I miss...the 'RU'. GAAAAAAAH, I WILL NEVER BE ABLE TO READ JAPANESE NAMES, DAMNIT!!!

私は日本人じゃない。でも。。。でも。。。馬鹿です。

~Sea of Twilight~

Random title is random, those kanji aside from 人 I don't know at all, teh computer just automatically converts those hiragana I type to kanji xD Well. I SHOULD be learning Kanji. And instead I do a self-seiyuu-ranking from Hibikiforum. Ehhh.

Ranking | 順位	Name | 名前
1	遊佐浩二 Kouji Yusa
2	小野大輔 Daisuke Ono
3	諏訪部順一 Junichi Suwabe
4	神谷浩史 Hiroshi Kamiya
5	福山潤 Jun Fukuyama
6	中村悠一 Yuuichi Nakamura
7	石田彰 Akira Ishida
7	宮野真守 Mamoru Miyano
7	谷山紀章 Kishou Taniyama
7	平川大輔 Daisuke Hirakawa
7	岸尾だいすけ Daisuke Kishio
12	鈴村健一 Kenichi Suzumura
12	櫻井孝宏 Takahiro Sakurai
14	杉山紀彰 Noriaki Sugiyama
14	杉田智和 Tomokazu Sugita
14	梶裕貴 Yuki Kaji
14	緑川光 Hikaru Midorikawa
14	浪川大輔 Daisuke Namikawa
14	保志総一朗 Souichirou Hoshi
20	日野聡 Satoshi Hino

Rofl...I have such a bad bias for Yusa Kouji's voice, that hasn't changed yet. Still love OnoD...ohh, but thanks to Ren from UtaPri and Matoba from Natsume Yuujinchou, I am ridiculously smitten with Suwabe Junichi's voice *Q*

Hm, and, oh yes, aside from learning Kanji, I was...very productive in Private Law lectures xD

This could be Yoru from my Original Character Shrine, that yandere guy. That one guy amongst those girls, yes....xD But sicne my consistency in drawing sucks, there's no guarratee I am being able to draw Yoru looking like that again. Like said, I have no skills whatsoever....

And here some more stuff. ignore fail!Izuru (pouting? really? Why....?) drawn from the top of my head while wrapping my mind around Private Law stuff. Ohh, see, I could write the kanji 曜 ('よう' as in day/weekday), which we don't even have to learn yet. And. Uh. Yuki and Hikari. Very randomly.

Oh, right, we went to a sushi bar (run by Vietnamese, by the way) today. Yummy <3 Definitely will do again, though I miss the Japanese one and really regret not haven eaten much when I was in a sushi restaurant with my host family (unfortunately I ate before that and was't hungry. Damnit TAT)

...right, and the last thing for this post: Make a list of stuff Celes will buy once she gets her payment for her work. Which is in the beginning of December. xD

• Hakuoki PSP Limited Edition, natch~
• Hakuoki & Starry Sky Clearfolder♥
• Natsume Yuujinchou Malaysian Anime RIP English sub DVD...stuff. ~
• Fabric to sew the Chizuru-cosplay.
• Save up for a trip to Duesseldorf to meet my friends and especially my best other soulmate~

....how the hell do I pay so much stuff with my meager earning, and then I want to save up to move out and to go to Japan for one semester...? o_O

So, new art dumpage~

~Sea of Twilight~

And we start with tumblr's  30 Days Challenge, Drawing Meme.

Day 1: Draw Yourself
The Result:

I actually have to learn kanji, prepare for the next lessons, read the boring text about Japan's geography and...stuff. Instead...THIS happened xD

But this post isn't called art dumpage for nothing. I did two more...for my RP-friends from Singapore and Malaysia respectively...will post on FB for them to see once I am done here xDDD

Sanjuuro Hinata for Ari-chan, of course, because when I RP with her, her OC is with Hinata and...uhh, wanted to practise him and this was the result. It kinda looks fail, but I can't pinpoint what exactly. Maybe because everything looks fail and I only draw from head to shoulder to avoid posing problems.

...a-anyway. Onwards to the next image? xDDD


AND THIS:

...is my fail!attempt of drawing Tomonaga Izuru for Eden. Whose OC righfully is with Izuru in a twisted way when we RP... WHY HIS HAIR SO DIFFICULT AND LOOKS LIKE A HEDGEHOG NAO?!

And his seal, I forever fail at kanji, I even fail at this simplified one, what can you expect from me then?

And I think his hair got slightly longer than it actually is. Whoops....


So yeah, first character is...mine? Since it's me in a chibi-way, I guess?
The other two rightfully belong to Kujo Karuna from her manga Aphorism.

...while waiting for three hours in the university library...

~Sea of Twilight~

...Celes is missing her graphic tablet TAT I wanted to start tumblr's 30 days  drawing meme, but without my tablet...*sobs*

Oh well, then I'll just...sit here, chat and RP as much as I can RP at the library computer...and wait for the time to tick by, maybe learn a kanji or two (whom am I kidding? But I DO need to do it...), later read about Japan when I get the book for it...and eat later (university cafeteria isn't bad, actually, it's quiet nice even <3).

Until I gotta work. With my friend. Gods, it'll be fun~

Another random status update xD AND THE HELL, EDEN, ARI, YOU ARE TOO FAST IN REPLYING xDDDD

...more random stuff. About SutaSuka this time...

~Sea of Twilight~

Or how I like to shorten Starry☆Sky "StaSky" 'cause I am lazy. So. So. I want to buy ~After Winter~ LE at some point. And I still swoon over Kazuaki's art, so, yeah, I am forever going to stall for new official art...AND THEN. AFTER TEARS OF THE POLESTAR IS DONE NOW (I kidna forgot about it, though TAT), WHAT IS THERE TO EXPECT OTHER THAN ~AFTER WINTER~?

I saw the ads (on honeybee's Starry Sky page and on Pixiv) and had to click. Sadly I don't understand anything other than...animate and something? Probably extras Animate is giving or selling or something? Sadly. SADLY, I dunno anything. And can't understand those. Kanji. And stuff. And. ARGH. BUT THAT ART, I swear, this is new art. Isn't it? SO HAWT. EVERYONE. ACK. I WANT, NEED THESE. If there's a poster with them at some point, I AM SO BUYING THAT <3

Okay, done ranting. Nnnnnnnnng, why do I love this series although the games are so boring? Oh, right, Kazuaki's awesome art that gives us hawt, haaaawt bishies~

Random thoughts. Like about Aphorism. If it had an anime....

~Sea of Twilight~

 ...the cast should look like this:

Momiji - Park Romi (because Momiji is a shota protagonist and Park is an awesome shorta seiyuu~)
Inner!RokudoKrishna - Ono Daisuke (nice and polite and awesome, yet pretty creepy and deep when you look further....)
Aira - Mizuki Nana (for whatever reason, I don't know) or Sakamoto Maaya ('cause she is an awesome seiyuu)
Hinata - Kamiya Hiroshi (Kamiya makes awesome smug, trolling characters whiel sounding nice and Hinata is such most of the times) or Fukuyama Jun (another smexy smooth voice~)
Mea/Noa - Sawashiro Miyuki (she has a knack of voicing mature big-sis characters~ and sounding sexy)
Mino - Kaji Yuki (also some kind shota-ish/younger sounding, boyish sounding guy. Alternately maybe Momiji and him could switch, I'm not sure) or, aside from Park, Miyano Mamoru (Hmm...Mino woudl sound so sexy~)
The Twins - Suzumura Kennichi (and if Aira is voiced by Sakamoto, make the twins, or whoever remains of the twins the beta couple with Aira. Yesh, I totally like the Suzumura/Sakamoto marriage <3)
Eco/Eko - Hanazawa Kana (whyever I felt the need to give a thought about her voice cast, but Hanazawa can voice airheads so well...xD)
Izuru - Ishida Akira (smoothtalking bastards, sexy voice and all and with such a twisted, damaged mentality~)
Ryou - Kobayashi Sanae (aside from making Allen Walkter sound pretty nice and Natsume Reiko liek a cheeky awesome girl, she makes awesome emotionless girls, too, right, Namie?)
Tatsumi - Sakurai Takahiro (..actually, not sure about that, but it's a possibility)
Mikotogawa - (...I have no idea right now)
Tobari - Kaji Yuki, if not for Mino (otehrwise I am clueless right now, who could voice scared characters well, with his slightly boyish, lighter voice)
Hirosue/Uruma - Yusa Kouji (...damn, my personal favorite and I would cast him for Uruma? Because he is a smooth jerkish, .....smartass character. As Hirosue Yusa can use his rougher vocie range pretty well and as Uruma...his lighter, smooth, and sexy voice...ahahaha...)
Yama - Suwabe Junichi (Nggggggg, another smexy voice. Suwabe's potential is best used as smooth, sexy, mysterious characters, aka Undertaker, Jinguji Ren and Matoba Seiji.)

Hm. now it would be perfect if some good (quality-vise) anime producer thinks like me and MAKES A GODDAMN ANIME OF THIS UNERAPPRECIATED SERIES!

Argh. I am so tired of the Kanji, Katakana and stuff, It's still awesome but I am tired. Oh, and I have a job nao *A* ...means less time to chat and stuff but oh well, it's pretty fun as cashier in a pet shop xD

ASDFGHJKL WHAT THE HELL, UNIVERSITY?!

~Sea of Twilight~

 Or rather, LAW SCHOO/COURSES, which is my minor to my Japanese Studies, WHY ARE YOU SO FREAKIN' OVERCROWDED WITH STUDENTS?! Because of that I have to stand up and get my train way too early to get a seat in the overcrowded auditorium. I need to go live on my own in that big city already, it might be hard but much more convenient TAT

Oh, and my parents...are SOOOO HELPFUL. Not that they find it bad I chose law school as minor, they like it, but they don't believe I can do it (neither do I but that's not the problem). They absolutely loath my decision to study Japanese Studies but damnit I know I like it and will pull through and I rather study something I have fun with than do something I will eternally hate but only do it because it might be good for money-making. It's just so freakish exhausting when they act all disappointed and sure of your doom and that it is hopeless and useless and ARGH. I am in their eyes forever a failed daughter and bad big sister to my younger ones. A lot of Asian parents are like that, sadly.

Oh, OHHH, but Japanese Studies is lots of fun. Sure, we are asking ourselves how long until we break down from too many Kanji and stuff, tehy all say we will ahve those moments occassionally, but at least I chose it on my free will! ...but maybe I'll change law school to arts and media if I get too overwhelmed TAT JAPANESE STUDIES however will forever remain my major!

So, I shoudl be able to read and write Hiragana-Katakana until next week but I am still stuck with Hiragana because...MAAA, NEMUI!!!!!!!!! Or something.

Oh and one epic thing we learned today in Grammar: Our professor will forever me reminded of baseball bats when someone says 'shine!' (die!), because when he started learning Japanese, he had to take care of the kids of his professor at some point...and they used 'shine!' a lot on each other. While holding baseball bats trying to bash in their heads. No, seriously. (I love our professor, he is is funny and easy-going *A*)

And...while working out the different versions of verbs, there is one version where the verb is used as attribute to a nomina...soemhow we wanted to use hito(human) but our professor at some point always wanted ushi(the cow)...and that also sounds a bit like a German name (Ushi) xDDDDDD The poor, poor cow~

...ah, well, gotta figure out the law school stuff and go to sleep so tomorrow I am not too tired for Japanese Cultural Studies...I think I'll like that 8D

Okay, enough rants and fawnings. OH WAIT, not yet. I FOUND AN AWESOEM FRIEND, she loves to cosplay, is UtaPri and some other otome game fan, shounen-ai-fan (well, I am not really but I am veeery tolerant with that kinda thing; or let's just say, I prefer shounen-ai-pairings in a series when the females of the series piss me off attitude-wise or damsel-in-distress-wise) and...WELL AN OTAKU LIKE ME 8D And she's pretty, that's always a nice bonus (I don't swing that way, but hey, it had to be mentioned xD). That and thanks to her I might cosplay someday as well...xD

*is shot for useless blog entries* 8)

Tears of The Polestar Header update~

~Sea of Twilight~

 Tears of the Polestar Vol.3 is released (I am searching for the download/waiting nakido-users to upload it xD) and that means Kazuaki gave honeybee another art piece of her for update~ It's interesting, I see Tsukiko in a pretty awesome dress crying on the far right. (And that big, alluring cleavage, and her long legs (fine, you don't see them, but officiall art give her nice long legs xD), I am so jealous, because it looks hot~) Can't wait for it to be uploaded somewhere. And soemday I'll buy them, because I wouldn't buy Drama CDs without understanding them. Games, yes, but not Drama CDs. Go figure.

Also, why can't I update my Xperia x8 Android 1.6 to Android 2.1?! It just doesn't work, damnit D: And lately I have been obsessed with Harvest Moon A Tale of Two Towns (Twin Towns, actually xD), so nothing on writing or drawing. And next week, Tuesday, my propaedeutics of Japanese Studies will start. Gosh, I am so excited~ ~3~

Okay, enough for the day. *salutes* I might update this post with a link to where I would get the CD, but remember, buying them if you can and have the means to~ This blogger was so kind and updated download links. Many thanks to her~ I am still waiting for Nakido downloads, though TAT Nakido Download Here~

And Celestie fails at drawing the essential stuff

~Sea of Twilight~

So, yesterday my chat-RP-friend Haru offered to draw one of my OCs with her, uhm, 'partner' from the RP we are playing (Aphorism; and the partner is Hinata, just as a side-note, which makes it my OC Chiharu *points to OC Shrine xD*), then it somehow turned into an art-trade and I sat there, trying to draw Tobari and Izuru (the potential partners for her OC in our RP)...and failed epically.
Also, the prompt was WEDDING. ...so I googled wedding dresses and tuxedos. I also failed spectacularly with the tuxedos, the dress is...meh.
I first sketched it on a paper. And left the hands vague on purpose because I also forever fail at hands. That's why, now that I inked it digitally teh hands are....interesting.

Oh. And I like the rose in Izuru's breast pocket xD I didn't have internet at my PC where I have my PT SAI and my graphic tablet, so I used my phone's WLAN to find some rose tutorial. Didn't reallyfind any, but luckily the tip I found was helpful enoughto make...a crappy rose, but I am pretty proud xDDD

...though I also fail epically at draing my friend's OC. It would look more like her (everyone would look more like them) if I colored it but like hell I will color it now, it hates me, Izuru hates me; ahhhhhhhhhhhhh TAT

But-but...I need to draw bishie males much, much more. Bishies and poses and hands. Bleeeeeeh, I can't draw the essential stuff. *sobs*

And my WIPs REALLY remain WIPs

~Sea of Twilight~

 Remember my other OC-coloring shot? Never finished that. Or the StaSky Bromance fanart I wanted to do? Never finished that, either. o_O Instead...SEE WHAT I STARTED 8D

I think I am better at soft-shading. Though that also leaves much to be desired, it doesn't frustrate em as much as cel-shading does currently. Urrrgh. I wish I had talent. People tell me I have talent but that ain't true. I copied and learned, then self-taught and learned, copied and learned...I have no talent. That's all learning through a slowl, long process. I am just slightly more artistic than some others but definitely not talented. I ain't talented in ANYTHING. I am good in some stuff (and worse at many others) but never talented. *sobs* I am a sad existence.

Err, okay, enough of wallowing in self-pity, I do that often enough already 8D See my mangled try of cel-shading. It's...the worst thing ever. After my many other bad attempts of coloring. Oh hell, I am so untalented...

At least...it didn't look bad until I began with the outer uniform jacket and the hair. Then it went downhill. D: Oh and yes, the uniform is my OC's personal version of Aphorism's summer uniform. Meaning the design technically isn't mine, only the modification to fit my OC's taste is mine. The rest belongs to Kujo Karuna 8D Maybe if someone shows me who to cel-shade and make it look good and if my try to do the same succeeds, I will redo this piece.

Oh well. I can't wait for university to start~

...and maybe I should switch to another image-hosting page, Photobucket always resizes my images and then they are so damn small D: Oh well. For now it shall suffice. The fact that my inspiration/motivation to draw and color hasn't totally diminished means my inspiration for writing will come back soon as well. I can see it already, both will return full-force when I will have no time whatsoever...xD

Confusion, lack of motivation and joy

~Sea of Twilight~

Confusion? Aaaall Mawaru Penguindrum's fault. I picked up that series. Yes. A while ago (in return I kinda dropped No.6 after the 6th episode or something) and damn, I am hooked, and confused. This series is a total mindscrew. I even started watching Utena to draw parallels, though I couldn't pbring myself to watch past episode 15 right now. In teh meanwhile MP is getting more and more confusing TAT

Oh. AND WHO THE FUCK IS THAT PINK HAIRED BISHIE DUDE?! I am getting some weird vibes from him. Fuuuu...


Lack of motivation. I haven't written anything lately (other than pieces on paper that are useless because I write that to free my clogged mind) and drawing...well, i did draw something but I am stuck on base-coloring. Hopefully, when I cel-shade, it won't take too long and won't eat away my tiny shred of motivation I have for that....


Joy. Yeah. Because I am playing Shikkoku no Sharnoth via English patch and it's a beautiful game, full stop~ The art is beautiful, the voice actors do a great job, the minigame is intense, the music is beautiful, the narration pretty awesome, even if it's sometimes rather repetitive, but that's probably just another means of the game~

I just fail at the minigame, especially at the second stage of each chapter. I think I won't get anymore concept arts as bonus for a while...D: So what, I fail at minigames in general... and it's hard to lure the small fry-monsters into traps when the big bad guy is following you around, and if he catches up with you, you get an instant game over and you only have a certain amount of movements you can do D:


Another thing...you know, it's funny. I was at a tribute celebration of several archievements of sports and political groups around my area and my little sister was part of a rather successful chess team (female) and got invited to get a medal and stuff, I came along and was super-bored. So at first I wrote stuff. Then I drew stuff (with a ballpoint pen and when I dawa with a ballpoint pen, it usually looks crappy) and a girl sitting in front of me was so damn fascinated by it...and another girl noticed it as well. Both girls were part of my sister's chess team...xD And one of the girls, the second one and the one who's only a year younger than me and I, we started talking soooo much afterwards. I found a new friend 8D ...the funny thing is, in teh same fashion I got my best friend's attention when she first came into my class. 8D

Okay, end random post. xD I should focus on filling in more papers for university stuff xD

Currently searching for her motivation...

~Sea of Twilight~

I might have some form of writer's block. And no motivation to draw and color. It's ooodd, whenever I sit at the computer in my room, trying to write or to draw I feel restless and don't feel any motivation/inspiration/muse. MUSE, WHERE ARE YOU?! I have still a Natsume Yuujinchou story to finish, and my Starry Sky RI is still being written, my Fire Emblem RI could be continued, too, my Starry Sky fanarts and my OC profile images....*fails*

Oh, but Corpse Party will be translated into English. That made my day. And probably my resolve to buy a PSP once I have a job this year.

University; one step closer~

~Sea of Twilight~

...or something. WELL, ANYWAY, today I was at the university...just to get my Student ID, not because university started. But, hey, now I can prove I am a university student xD Ad maybe also get a job already, the big cities do offer a lot, and now with the student ID I dun have to pay for tickets anymore. WHAT A BIG RELIEF *A*

So, yeah, one more month to laze around...or actually earn money until university starts. Can you tell I am excited? I can't wait until I can form some Japanese phrases and surprise my Japanese host families in a message or something 8D Or our Japanese interpreter Tomo. I miss them all SO GODDAMN MUCH TAT.

...oh yes, random post is random 8D

September~

~Sea of Twilight~

 Soooo, today a new month started. Today package arrived. My first BIG purchase of yesAsia arrived.

• Prince Animage summer 2011

So the only reason I bought this was because it has Starry Sky on its cover, the cover image as poster, and Ao no Exorcist and Natsume Yuujinchou poster *A* The bad thing? AnE and Natsume are on Side A/B of each other. SUUUUCKS. Couldn't they have put one of them on the Inazuma Eleven or Sengoku Basara posters? D: Oh, and I got this...Iunno how to call it, drawing pad? Of Inazuma Eleven. In the Prince Animage of last year (yeah, when I bought it in Japan/Tokyo xDDDD) I had one of DRRR!!...OH WELL. COLLECTIBLES ARE STILL AWESEOME~

And it has some kinda...master-slave-ish BL-poster. Nya, sicne I dun like the suggestive theme (it's kinda semi-bloody, too), I give it to my friend,who has friends who liek that. And she writes RPs about that with her friends, so I am sure she can use it more than I can. Unless I will fall for Sengoku Basara sometime soon, the other side has the eyepatch brunette and th silver head. *shrugs*

So, it has some pages filled with Starry Sky, some Tiger&Bunny stuff, some Ao no Exorcist, ....and so on and so forth 8D *skips to the next magazine*

• Dengeki Girl's Style September 2011

Seriously, if I continue like this, I can just subscribe the magazine already... Okay, only three magazines of the Dengeki GS so far and one was bought last summer in Tokyo out of pure curiosity and posters (I am totally collecting posters, can you tell?)...but I just bought June/July's and August/September's issue. And I wanna play the game that's on the cover (dunno its name, though; wait...*opens DGS* La storia della Arcana Famiglia); I remember it being mentioned in last year's August/September issue as well, and hey, it has badass suits-clad people, mafia, owls (or I think there was an owl somewhere, can't find it now) and teh heroine looks badass, too 8D

This issue features posters of that game (La storia della Arcana Famiglia), on the other side some Hakuoki; then another poster with the first who characters of the upcoming Drama CD (and game, too, if I am not wrong) of Brother's Conflict, the other side having the bishies of Storm Lover. And the third poster has, on one side, Tears of the Polestar Vol.1 cover and the other side has Tears of the Polestar Vol.2 Cover 8D.

And It has some Hakuoki special in form of a 'secret book' ....hm. *throws it ito another corner 8D*

...and I really either need an iPad or an iPod touch, whatever is better for the Soine-app of Starry Sky. Can't they make an android version of that, one that works for my phone? D8 (And can't Iku take off the glasses in bed? I don't mind them but sometimes...I want them off~)

• Starry Sky ~After Autumn~ (Limited Edition)

Ahahaha, so, yeah, I bought the limited edition because my friend told me it has a postcard book. I HAD TO GET THAT *A* And I will most likely not play the game at all for anytime soon because of my lack of Japanese knowledge. University doesn't start in another month and even if, I doubt I will learn enought Japanese after the first few days, anyway. Yes, I am kinda crazy~





And hey, if they plan to make a remake of Persona 4; can they make one like with P3, with a female protagonist? Pretty please? Then I'd even be willing to buy a PSV, even if it's REALLY EXPENSIVE D:

...I should answer the messages I am supposed to answer now....*goes*

(...oh yes...Iku, what's with you and cats? That makes you infinitively more adorable, even if you try to act all ladykiller-ish♥)

Tear of the Polestar Vol2; Header Update

~Sea of Twilight~

ASDFGHJKL Now I hope the second volume of Tears of the Polestar is just as entertainig as the first~ Also, Wallpapers of the previous header available here~

And here ends my totally useless blog post. Dun even know why I do this, since it's a personal blog, mostly. Well, maybe showing off beautiful Kazuaki art on my blog just for myself? Yeah...*is brick'd*

Little status update?

~Sea of Twilight~

Oh yeah. I should be doing so many other things. But whenever I sit at the computer my parents think have so much time and give me loads of house chores. What am I, a house maid? TAT And why the hell don't they (my university) send me some confirmation letter that I can get my student ID? Don't tell me something went wrong...*facepalms* If that happened, I'm going to throw a fit.

Oh, and I should be writing on my Natsume Yuujinchou story, I should continue writing my KHR!-SecretSanta thing, I should continue my Starry Sky story...and my Fire Emblem story could be continued, too...orz.

But instead I had to do house chores and am totally exhausted. But...one thing made my day. The poster of Starry Sky I spend a ridiculous amount of money on arrived 8D

<-- Look, look! Hottest teachers EVA ♥

Beautiful World. Or something.

~Sea of Twilight~

UWAAAH. This is complicated, so many new things to look at and to take care off and I am not even in university to study yet. Nope, just applying and getting a letter that I am enroled, just, they need tons of stuff from me now to prepare @_@ Can you tell I am kinda confused? On the other hand I am looking forward to study Japanese Studies. Just, I am a tad bit afraid my parents are right and I won't find a job with that afterwards, but that's something I will worry when it's time...I hope.

Oh, and I have a feeling my WIP arts are always remaining WIPs, seeig how I never finish them beyond basecoloring...and then start a new one and...

Ahaha, yeah, my OCs, drawing them so they have profile images on my OC Shrine page 8D

Oh, OHH, and apparently today's Haruki Naoshi-sensei's birthday~ I never bother to remember their birthdays, genius me. And of course Honeybee provides us some wallpaper.

Too bad they cut off the lion, I find him terribly fluffy and cuddly *A* And Naoshi is very funny in the Drama CDs~

Talking about Starry Sky, I was listening to some of the Starry Sky Drama CDs while drawing/coloring the last few evenings. Not the Seiza Kareshi or Seiza Danna series, but the regular one where almost all of them interact with each other~ I...kind of made summaries of that. As much as you can make a summary on Drama CDs when you don't understand Japanese yet xD

Tears of The Polestar update~

~Sea of Twilight~

 Well, actually it's an update because today the first CDs are released. The first volume is out and Kazuaki yet again made another awesome header for that homepage *A*

Mmm, they all look delicious *A* Shiki has a nice ass? The way Homare feeds Shiki and the way Iku leans over Kotarou could almost be yaoi shiptease. Almost.

I want. That CD. Pretty please *A* Gotta buy it whev I have time and hope for online downloads until I have the money to buy it xD (that and until I understand Japanese.) Oh, and I guess for a short period of time (a week probably?) you get this image as wallpaper:

Available here.

Computer coloring yay?

~Sea of Twilight~

 

 H. Yuki Arisu. Yes, the one I made a character sheet about in that other page of my Blog :3

 Ahahaha, this was supposed to be a quick coloring but ended up trying various coloring techniques and it took longer. But I quite like the outcome. Isn't perfect yet, but...

Dengeki Girl's Style stuff and...some more.

~Sea of Twilight~

The hell, why did I write Dengeki Daisy as title before? I don't even read that manga. Some things ahead, I downloaded a free app (for android) with which you can start learning Japanese. So I started this app and stopped at the first set of hiragana I should practise and ...see how far I got with practising...;_;

...exactly. If I continue like this, I will NEVER learn how to read and write hiragana and katakana, not to mention what happens when in university I'll have to add kanji to the workload. And I gotta betatest, draw fanart and write a Reader Insert for fic trade on Luna. Will be a busy time now...

ANYWAY, my wonderful Dengeki Girl's Style July arrives last week, and I though I make some photos to show off, actualyl only about the Starry Sky section that I lurv so much :3

Cover's image is also the little poster that came with this issue *A* TSUBASA~ (my zodiac sign)...and I am warming up to Yoh and Azusa, so definitely eyecandy here~

 And-and look at that! It's Iku, Kotarou and Koharu with Hoshizuki-senior in thier mansion, I presume? Holy fuck, they seem to be very well off~ Kazuaki's art is as pretyt as ever, if not better *A*

So and this...is the official art for Tear of The Polestar that is up on its official site for a while now. Look at how awesome everyone looks. Especially Kotarou, Naoshi and...okay, actually everyone looks badass~ I am so looking forward to the CDs (that they amusingly call Film Festival editions xD).

Ohh, and these articles are about DRRR!!'s  upcoming second version of the PSP game. And look at Shizuo. And that tiger. It looks...great~ And Mikado is ADORABLE. I do love his badass stoic, cold side, too, though.

And lastly. LOOK AT THOSE GUYS IN BED. SO CUTE AND SO HAWT and damnit, the art is beautiful as always~ 

The bad thing (for me anyways)? It's only for iPad/iPod/iPhone. I DEMAND ANDROID VERSIONS, DAMIT! I am willing to pay 250yen for each and every guy but make an android version for my wonderful Xperia x8 PLEEEASE. I feel discriminated with how little apps there exist for ANDROID. *sigh*

Celestie is sick - and received her Dengeki GS July~

~Sea of Twilight~

 Oh god, I feel like shit right now. Ever since yesterday evening I have been feeling like shit, so... It's probably because from Saturday night to Sunday morning I was out partying and from the clubs to the car it was a five minutes walk through the rain....and afterwards I didn't sleep and by the end of Sunday, after the Women's World Cup I was weak, tired, cold and my entire body was hurting.

So at 3am I woke up having ague/shiver/chills or however you call that in English. Taking painkiller pills, I went to sleep and woke up with fever, aching body, horrible heachache and generally the horrible feeling of being sick. ...the fever is down now but the headcahe remains, occassionalyl I feel nauseating and almost constantly feel izzy and weak...argh, I hate being sick ;_;

But then it made my day - my copy of Dengeki Girl's Style July 2011 I ordered from JBox just arrived! I am sad that there is only one small poster of Starry Sky, but that's okay, because there are so many pages featuring StaSky~ I can't wait until I actually read and understand what they are writing there...!

Also, all those awesome otome games. I need to play them all ocne I get the chance to understand them!

Okay, that done, i think I need to sleep now. let's hope I feel better by tomorrow... ;_;

And They Won

~Sea of Twilight~

 ...of course the had to win or Germany would have hold a grudge against Japan for beating them and not becoming World Cup winners xD

I am really happy, now I gotta continue the letter to my host family to gush about this *A* IMA SO PROUD OF THEM. ...they are the sole reason aside from Germany's team, why I watched some of the matches.

Pray

~Sea of Twilight~

 ...gods, I am shocked. You know, I frequent Lunaescence.com, a wonderful site to share Reader-Inserts (my prefered kind of stories and literatures), and I made some wonderful friends there!

Amongst them is a girl, she is kinda an IRON WOOBIE from what I have gathered. Being hit by her rather abusive dad for her sickly mom (I really don't know the exact circumstances but...I don't want to ask, I really don't want to, it's enough I know this much), her sister she loves overseas to study medicine and psychology amongst others, I think, she still seems to be an incredibly strong, kind, funny and talented writer.

She loves KHR! and she loves drama, gore, twisted love...she writes it really well, very detailed, very well-characterized...she really is an awesome authoress.

And one has to think her real life is grim enough with an easily agitated father but now life screws her over (I hate life right now, how can you?!) again. Hello?! Damnit, I almost teared up when I read her message to all readers. She was tearing up herself so much...! So her sister was unfortunate to tend to a patient who totally lost it and hurt her badly and what the hell the guards didn't help her because they were afraid, those idiots?! and now she is in ICU (sadly, I had to look up this abbreviation...). I so pray, pray badly for her sister, she is someone very important to that girl, and it wouldn't be fair if she lost her, right?

Rii-chan, never give up hope! We from Lunaescence, your friends, will pray for you and your sister!

Anime watching weekly schedule...thing.

~Sea of Twilight~

Sunday: Ao no Exorcist
Monday: Natsume Yuujincho San
Tuesday: Steins;Gate
Wednesday: --
Thursday: No. 6
Friday: --
Saturday: Uta no Prince-sama Maji Love 1000%

Wow, this is the busiest schedule I've ever had to watch anime weekly. Usually I don't have more than three anime to watch and usually they pile up around the weekend. And aside from Steins;Gate and Ao, everything else is pretty new....hm, once those two are done, I am back to three anime. Sad thing.

About football, Cologne and Bubble tea...

~Sea of Twilight~

 ...or something. My time in Cologne wil be over this weekend. I think I earned enough to cover the hole I have created by buying Dengeki Girl's Style July from Japan via JBox and Aphorism 1-6 from Singapore thanks to Haru-chan, but nothing much more, so no PSP or anything else for a while...

Because I sent a physical letter (yes, they still do exist) to Haru-chan and bough a stack of envelops, I now...still have a stack of envelops. I guess I'll use them to send physical letters with some photographs to my two host families in Japan, one of which I don't have any online contact forms anyway and from which I haven't heard of even after the entire Japan disaster...I hope their address hasn't changed...xD

AND JAPAN WON AGAINST SWEDEN! After they kicked Germany out, I really want them to win against America (it will be difficult but who knows what could happen?), both because that would lift Germany's disappointed spirit a bit to have been losing against the world cup winner and because I am biased, anyway xD And while I understand most of the German female players, some of them who will refuse to watch the finals are a little bit childish...I hope they will get over it :3

And...I think I like Bubble Tea. That thing from China and the Eastern Asian...

It's pretty yummy. Too bad it's barely spread in Germany. I didn't even know of this until my cousin showed it to me when I arrived in Cologne last week.

Sooo........gotta shower now and hope I won't get another skin allergy now...;_;

Women football/soccer World Cup

~Sea of Twilight~

...uh, no, I am totally not into football/soccer, but since it was the Germany- VS Japan match jsut a while ago...

Earlier I was all for Japan pwning Germany. And tehy did, barely, but they did. Germany is kicked out of the World Cup fight...wait...that actually makes me sad. Our poor girls... ;_; So now I really want Japan to win the World Cup, or else I think our German team woudl be very sad and frustrated, too...

GO JAPAN, GO! (If I had my tablet here right now, I'd have drawn some chibified version of Nyo!Germany and especially Nyo!Japan now ;_; )

STEINS;GATE~

~Sea of Twilight~

 Steins;Gate, anyone? Although it isn't an otome game, it seems pretty awesome with mystery and the kind of sci-fi I can live with. It has a pretty nice tsundere-character (Kurisu xD), a very interesting main character (with an awesome voice actor by the way), and very interesting characters in general (Ruka, oh Ruka~).

I started watching the anime and seriously would want to play the game....;_;


On another side-note. There are quite some visual novel otome games that will be, apparently, translated into English soon. While I am happy, somehow that makes my ambition to learn Japanese to play those games almost futile. Almost, I say, because I still want to. YES, I WILL LEARN JAPANESE AND PLAY MOAR GAMES!


Oh...and now I am in Cologne. No, I usually not from that place, I live further south in Germany, but now I am helping out for a week at my relatives' restaurant. Hm. But strangely while I am in a big city like Cologne fro a few days already, I never have felt the desire to explore its many shops yet. I just am not a shopping person, I guess. Unless it's Animate or something similar. But There is no Aminate-esque shop here...TAT (YEAH I AM SUCH AN OTAKU SO WHAT?).

Celestie logging off~ Gotta shower and sleep now...

Cute young Allen, OH GOD CUTE YOUNG ALLEN [DGM 206]

~Sea of Twilight~

 ASDFGHJKL OH MY GOD ALLEN, WHY SHO CUTE?!

Yaoi...is one thing. Yaoi CDs IS ON A TOTALLY DIFFERENT LEVEL *dies*

~Sea of Twilight~

 I-it's just...OH DAMNIT. I am kinda bashful with R18 stuff, I am a closet pervert...I...a, just not good with this stuff. Oh, I read hentai and yaoi alright. I do plan on playing R18-otome games and maybe some good yaoi ones when I understand enough Japanese to play those. But I haven't yet. That is why I have never been beyond the unanimated, unvoiced version of yaoi.

And now, I made the mistake of clicking one link.

Uke!OnoDaisuke in Yaoi atmosphere...

...*does not compute*...

H-HOLY SHIT HE IS MOANING AND UKE AND MOE AND AAAAAAAAAAAAHHH.
*nosebleeds and dies out of embarrassment*

...I am sure it didn't have to be Ono Daisuke, one who voices topping demons (Sebastian from KuroShitsuji), magnificent kings (Sion from DenYuuDen), awesome polices (Akasaka from Higurashi), hot-blooded geniuses (Battler from Umineko), even more hotblooded lovable idiots (Shizuo from DRRR!!), yandere cooking childhood friends (Suzuya from StaSky) and a bunch of other smooth-talking, polite and kind, manly men in otome games. It could have been any other voice, I am sure and I would have had similar reactions. OnoD as a moe, uke, horny gay just was the topping of the icing, blowing me off my chair and leaving me totally....@.@

I haven't gotten past the first few seconds of moaning. I...am not saying it is bad. It is good. TOO GOOD, that's why my overactive mind can make out exactly what is happening with those awesome voices of those wonderful voice actors - BUT IT'S STILL KILLING ME BECAUSE I AM SO EMBARRASSED-*dies*

....but I really should use the time I have at the computer without anyone at home....I really should....=////="