...venting off my frustration now.

~Sea of Twilight~

…sometimes I really wonder why I bother with you. I don’t care when you are lazy. But please on’t be lazy when it’s about your best friend. When we try to arrange a meeting, when you have problems with that either you put some efforts into making it to the meeting, since it’s us friends that are doing this for you, or if you don’t feel like coming up with any efforts and rather have it easy and unproblematic, then fucking say you don’t come, simple as that. Your indecisiveness really gets on my nerves lately, we rarely see each other already, we still call each other best friends because really, we are, and I like you amd I hate how we spend so little time together lately because we are going different paths for a while after graduation, so if we want to meet again to go to the Christmas Market when YOU really wanted to do that, why is it so difficult to arrange soemthing with you?

Your car, sure, it’s difficult to store away a car in the city and it’s slightly complicated to make this work but it isn’t impossible, it isn’t too difficult, you could do it if you really wanted, friendship is about putting effort into your doings for your friends and sacrificing a few inconveniences, right? We are putting our efforts into this by spending our time that we don’t really have but really want to give to you to show you the big city we are studying in, the Christmas Market that is held there, so where is your effort?

…why is it always so difficult? No wonder my parents say I am acting too much like a loyal dog to some of my friends when they don’t do something of similiar sacrificing for me, I get angry…because I know sometimes they are right.

It is really sad. Maybe I am a bit too mean. But I am so frustrated. …because I am neither close to my family, nor can I really completely rely on friends. Hah, lonely, isn’t it. No, wait, it’s pathetic. Sheesh.

I know you won’t read this, you neither use tumblr, nor do you know I do. Someday I will tell you. Someday you will tell me what I do to annoy you and then we are hopefully even. But now, this is just for me to get it off my chest and focus on otehr things in my life. You amy be my best friend, but I am not willing to put up with you like this forever. I will enver stop calling you my best friend, I hope, but I will never stop being disappointed of you if this continues. copypasted from my tumblr

Ah, but my family frustrates me, too. I am really willing to leave my parents' apartment soon, if it wasn't inconvenient with my exchange semester in Japan I plan to do in two years. AHHHHHH.

Also, I am really tempted to buy Natsume Yuujinchou DVDs already. And Clearfolders, but they are so expensive, Starry Skyyyyyy....! And I still need Christmas Presents for both my host family and my actual family. Ahahaha....